#090 – Commit a faux pas which means that a friend will never speak to you again

Well, well, well. The mighty faux pas.

Can I get away with mentioning any of these? Because my goodness have I completed #090 before. A lot. Often. In spades. Though, were they faux pas as much as people being overly sensitive? Are those things one and the same?


There was one "friend", not too long ago. I committed a faux pas in that I didn't agree with the friend. Their actions were ridiculous, but while other friends listened to it I had the gall to point out that rather than complaining, maybe the friend should do something about it? A violation of accepted friend and social norms! A FAUX PAS! Said friend has not spoken to me since. Though, has complained about me.


Apparently I was once "glaring" at the former friend and generally being nasty. I should point out that I need glasses.

My glasses are nicer than that though.

So there was no glaring, I am just blind with anything more than five feet away from me without them. And I wasn't wearing them at the time. So there was no glaring at the former friend, because I didn't even notice them in the crowd. But hey, after my horrid faux pas I was public enemy #1 to them.

#004 – Catch a fish with your bare hands

When I was a young 'un, in about 1995 and 1996, [I would have been 10 and 11 years old] my friends and I used to spend a great deal of time at the bottom of our street. You see, our street curled right around a nice selection of green grass. Rather inventively, we called it 'the green'. Down 'the green' was a selection of trees, perfect for climbing, but more importantly, especially for a 10 or 11 year old, there was a brook. A fast flowing stream of water.

The brook ran into a river which was all of about a quarter mile away. The river ran right next to our little village - in fact our village was named for it. I recall the day we walked, wellington boots only just protecting us from the water, from the brook at the bottom of our road all the way to the river. By the time we got close to the river, the wellington boots were pretty much useless. That river was neck deep.

And pretty filthy most of the time.

But we didn't need to go all the way to the river to see some fish. There were two bridges either end of the green, for cars to cross the two foot wide little stream, and these bridges cast a lot of darkness onto the water for the little fish to call home.

There were two types of fish that lived in our little brook. Tiny ones. Like a few centimetre in length, never more. I can't for the life of me find out what one type was. Fat, ugly, big-headed things they were. The other was the ever-present stickleback.

The other fish, the fat, ugly, big-headed things were hard work to catch. They were the real challenge. Many a day ticked by during those summers were we'd try to catch them with whatever our childish minds could create. We even, rather naughtily, caused a swell in the water by dropping a ton of rocks into it, damming it up and raising the water level. More for us to splash in, and the deeper water made catching the fish more of a challenge.

But we did it. Myself and the two friends I used to live with on the street. Catching a fish with your bare hands was a set challenge, and none of us would live it down if we failed. Maybe it was just the lesser stickleback and not the Big Ugly, but a fish WAS caught, in bare hands.

#049 – See a Solar or Lunar eclipse

As a subject of the British Isles, like many others, I have witnessed a beautiful solar eclipse.


A total solar eclipse, in fact. There hasn't been one that good in the UK since June 29, 1927, and won't be another like it until 2090. Which should last 2 minutes and 10 seconds in southern England! Amazing.


But back to the one I witnessed. I'm sure English readers know which one I refer to. 11 August 1999. 

Okay, that was a photo from France, not where I was, but the view I saw was just as beautiful.

I remember that they handed out these awful little paper glasses. Like bad paper 3D glasses, but without the funky red and green [or is it blue?] lenses. No, I didn't use those. I watched the beautiful total eclipse through a welding mask. True story. The parent-we-do-not-mention worked with vehicles a lot growing up, so there were things like that lying around.

I remember the popular breakfast show 'Big Breakfast' focusing on it since the eclipse occurred in the morning, but can recall not a lot more than that. Considering I was 14 years old at the time, you'd think I would remember more. But I don't. Other than seeing that eclipse.

And also the horror stories imagined by my brain. "Don't look directly at it or you'll burn a hole in your eyes!" "Oh no, did I look? Do my eyes still work?"

#082 – Win a raffle

#082 – Win a raffle.


On a cold and windy afternoon in the early months of 2009, my former housemate Nick and I ducked into the local student bar.

For those who haven't visited us, it is called The Ember Lounge. And it's not a bad place.


While inside the Ember Lounge, enjoying a hot chocolate swamped in melted marshmallows, we were approached by a woman collecting information about student housing. Each person completing a form would be entered into a raffle. But as we had no need for student housing, due to our impending graduation that year, we waved her away.


Until I realised I had no pen. But she had plenty. I was allowed one, on the condition I filled in a form for her. She didn't care that I had no need for student housing, she just wanted another form signed. And I really wanted that pen. So our mutual need for things meant we ignored the rules and got on with things.


It wasn't long before I had a letter saying I'd won the raffle. A free pen AND a raffle prize? Bargain.


Call a number, get your prize. Okay, except I am allergic to phonecalls. Can't do them. But my very-new girlfriend at the time wasn't going to miss out on a prize, so she she phoned them and found out that it was tickets for something. I believe it took another phonecall before we found out what it actually was.

Four tickets to the Chinese State Circus and Shaolin Wu-Shu Warriors.


Excellent, right? All because I wanted a pen. The original plan was to take some of my friends to see it, but due to complications that couldn't happen. You see, the date happened to coincide with a visit from two of my girlfriend's friends, coming down for a photo shoot for her Photography degree.


Did I mention they were beautiful burlesque dancers? So yeah. I ticked off #082, winning a raffle, and on March 14th or 15th 2009 I got to see Chinese circus craziness and Wu-shu badassery [a real word. Argue against it when you've seen them in action] with three lovely strippers.

The List

There are a number of things one should do before death. Or before turning 30 years of age. There are countless lists saying this, that and the other. Some of them are sensible, while others are just ridiculous. Many even offend me. All the alcohol-related ones? No thanks. I have managed to throw together this list from a number of sources, and even a few of my own. Who knows how I'll manage to get many of them done, but I'm going to try. Others, they'll just happen. I have actually already completed a number of them - but if they are fun and interesting, I just might try to complete them again where possible.

You don't get a lot of time to do things. So, even if it's as ridiculous as #001 down there, I'm going to get things done.

#001 – Learn to make balloon animals

#002 – Swim with a Shark/Dolphin/Whale

#003 – Win an award/trophy/prize

#004 – Catch a fish with your bare hands

#005 – Make a discovery

#006 – Throw a house party

#007 – Grow a garden

#008 – Realise you childhood dream

#009 – Learn that instrument

#010 – Leave your mark in graffiti

#011 – Storm chase a tornado

#012 – Get a piece of art into an exhibition

#013 – Meet someone with the same name

#014 – Take a ride on the highest roller coaster in the country

#015 – Create your Family Tree

#016 – Let someone feed you peeled, seedless grapes

#017 – Own a pointless collection

#018 – Study the Kama Sutra and put theory into practice

#019 – Win big in a casino

#020 – Get backstage...

#021 – Be a human guinea pig

#022 – Go up in a hot air balloon

#023 – Spend a whole day eating junk food without feeling guilty

#024 – See a space shuttle launch

#025 – Capture the Moment

#026 – Tell someone the story of your life, sparing no details

#027 – See an erupting volcano

#028 – Graduate from University

#029 – Meet your idol

#030 – Stay in the best suite

#031 – Experience weightlessness

#032 – See the Aurora Borealis

#033 – Learn to rollerblade/skate

#034 – Design your own cocktail

#035 – Grow a beard and leave it for at least a month

#036 – Be a member of the audience in a TV show

#037 – Make fire without matches

#038 – See a bear in the wild

#039 – Go to the dogs

#040 – Send a message in a bottle

#041 – Write a fan letter to your all-time favorite hero or heroine

#042 – Fall deeply in love -- helplessly and unconditionally

#043 – Throw a dart in a map and travel where it lands

#044 – Attend a film premiere

#045 – Fart in a crowded space

#046 – Scuba Dive

#047 – Milk a cow

#048 – Be present when your country wins a trophy/award/prize

#049 – See a Solar or Lunar eclipse

#050 – Write your name over a Star on the walk of fame

#051 – Learn another language

#052 – Spend a whole day reading a great novel

#053 – Complete a coast to coast

#054 – Make at least one huge purchase you cannot afford

#055 – Sleep under the stars

#056 – Gatecrash a fancy party

#057 – See the all-time greatest films

#058 – Live in the place you love

#059 – Leave a job you hate

#060 – Take part in a police line up

#061 – Get away with the perfect practical joke/hoax

#062 – Dye your hair/have an unwise haircut/shave your head

#063 – Purchase, then dispose of, some deeply unsuitable footwear

#064 – Buy your own house and then spend time making it into exactly what you want

#065 – Shout drinks are on me

#066 – Be part of a flash mob

#067 – Complete the Le Mans 24 hour race.

#068 – Save someone's life

#069 – In various languages learn to say 'My name is...'

#070 – Invent a word

#071 – Have sex in an inappropriate place

#072 – Have enough money to do all the things on this list

#073 – Stand on the international date line

#074 – Learn to fly a plane

#075 – Get a tattoo or piercing

#076 – Invent something

#077 – Learn astronomy

#078 – Attend a wedding/funeral of a contemporary

#079 – Start writing a novel/film script/slim volume of deeply embarrassing poetry

#080 – Spend Christmas on the beach

#081 – Do a McJob

#082 – Win a raffle

#083 – Have a really stupid accident which necessitates a hospital visit

#084 – Sell all your junk on eBay

#085 – Make a pointless modification to your house

#086 – Run a marathon

#087 – Conquer your fear

#088 – Get married unusually

#089 – Buy a sword

#090 – Commit a faux pas which means that a friend will never speak to you again

#091 – Publish a cult website

#092 – Own an original work of art

#093 – Go to a Sci Fi and/or Comic Convention

#094 – Get something named after you

#095 – Get revenge

#096 – Be an extra in a film

#097 – Take something apart to see how it worked, put it back together and it still functions, even with that extra bit still in your hand

#098 – Go on a demonstration

#099 – Have no regrets

#100 – Reach 100 years of age

#101 – Continue your gene pool
#102 – Own an official action figure of a character I created